For those whose geography is not up to scratch (as I've discovered may be the case for some), I have not been affected by the latest earthquake in Asia. Although India and Indonesia sound similar, they are actually quite a long distance apart...

Happy Holi everyone!

Unfortunately I have the shits..

Not the runs, the shits. I'd probably prefer the runs, as I'm sure it would involve far less effort than what I'm currently experiencing - all I would have to do would be sit down.. Its really not so bad, I'm just starving it.

I've actually had a really good few days. I just read over my last post and I sounded like I was a bit over it all. I was. Looking back on it I didn't enjoy Agra and Jaipur very much at all. In fact straight after I wrote my last post from Jaipur I got taken for a ride (literally..). I went out in search of a phone booth to call Hana and asked a tut tut driver where the closest one was. He said it was a fair way up the street, and then out of the blue asked me to read him an email he received (of course he couldn't read or write English). I did and because we were now friends he said he'd drive me to the phone booth. All was going well until the ride back when we stopped at 'his house' and his sister offered me a puppet as a gift and said that they usually sell them for 250-300 Rs. Feeling guilty, I tried to refuse, but he insisted, so instead I offered money. I ended up giving him 100Rs for the puppet (which was probably worth about 30Rs and which I had no use for whatsoever). The lesson: Nobody is your friend in India...

But like I said, things improved after Jaipur and I've had a really good few days. From Jaipur we went to the tiny town of Roopangarh by regular bus. I've discovered that the difference between a deluxe and a regular bus is that you need a seat to get on a deluxe.. It wasn't so bad, as we all had seats for the full 3 hours. In Roopangarh we stayed in the town's fort. It was an amazing hotel, our room was probably 25mx20m with a private rooftop terrace and views out over the town. We went into the town in the evening and it was as if we were celebrities.. Everyone in town came out to have a look, and every child followed us wherever we went asking us to take a photo of them. It was insane.

We were only at Roopangarh for one night and made our way to Pushkar the next day. Felt ill all morning - probably due to a dodgy egg at breakfast - and had the shits the rest of the day. In the afternoon our camel safari began so I took an immodium to clog it all up. The camel safari was ok - sitting on a camel for three hours is not the most comfortable thing in the world and I got burnt like a bitch, but camping in the desert was really cool. Was up at dawn the next day to get back to Pushkar. That makes it 4 sunrises I've seen in 2 weeks. Somebody better be making me some sort of medal right now..

Pushkar's a really nice town situated around a lake (which looks man-made) which supposedly sprung from a lotus flower belonging to Shiva, or some such rubbish. Anyway, the lake makes Pushkar a holy town, almost on a par with Varanasi. This made it one of THE places to be for Holi. Spent the day after the camels organising our onward trip and the day after everythign was shut for Holi. Holi is one of the biggest Hindu holidays of the year, but instead of giving presents they just splash everybody who ventures into the streets with water and colour (coloured powder). I only went out for about 45 minutes but I was every shade of pink and blue from head to toe. The American girls came out with us and they were prime targets. One of them had her face completely painted pink, including the whites of her eyes and her teeth! No Easter here, Tommy, but I wouldn't have been up for chocolate on Sunday anyway, I would have just shat it straight out..

The evening of Holi, the tour group left for Delhi, and Suze and I stayed behind. We spent that night in a little shit-hole for $5 each a night and vowed never again. Both of us had the shits and the bathroom was awful. The tap in the sink didn't work so we had to use a smaller tap that just opened onto the floor instead, and as soon as the floor got wet the whole room smelled of piss! That night, for Holi, the most loud, horrible, toneless excuse for music was blasted from the temple until 5 in the morning. Barely slept a wink..

After spending a day just bumming around the markets and cafes, Suze and I caught our bus to Udaipur. We originally booked the 11am bus, but because of Holi the bus was officially delayed until 4. Unofficially, the bus left at 5.30.. I didn't find the 6 hour journey that painful. Although it seems they don't believe in suspension or leg room, the trip was far more painful for Suze, who was dying for the toilet after an hour (she'd proudly told me before the bus left that 'she wouldn't be dehydrated because she'd drunk 4 litres of water') and kept being told that there was 'only 10 more minutes' until we stopped. Eventually we made the bus stop for her to go on the side of the road, giving every passing motorist a look at her arse!

We got to Udaipur at 11.30 and found our way to the hotel Candice (our tour leader) recommended. It was all shut up, but the Colonel answered a knock at the door and gave us a very nice room for 500Rs ($8 each). Spent today wandering around Udaipur, and its a lovely town. Its famous for its lake palace (a palace built in the middle of the lake), but the lake is currently dry. Apparently they filmed (at least some) of Octopussy here, so every single cafe and restaurant in Udaipur shows Octopussy every night of the week!

India's a funny place. Some days you absolutely hate it and others you love it. Yesterday I was over it all and wanted to get going to England. Today, I'm having a great time and could easily stay longer.

Good to see things are going well at home.. Who let a girl host a barbeque in the first place?! Of course she was going to fuck it up..

I've been in touch with Hana, and for those who don't know, she's already got a job!

This post has been long enough already, so congratulations if you got this far and check back soon!

I am now in Jaipur. There has been a fair bit of moving around since the last post, but the top story is I have a cold. How do you manage a cold in 30+ degree heat? I blame the Canadian, sneaky bastard - they have SARS in Canada, you know... Anyway, it hasn't affected me too badly. It meant I had a rotten sleep on the overnight train from Varanasi to Agra, and I have to carry a roll of toilet paper with me wherever I go, but these things are merely minor inconveniences.

The night after my last post, we went out onto the Ganges, yet again, to take part in a flower ceremony. The whole thing was fairly put on, but Candice (the leader) organised a Ravi Shankar-type musician to play on the boat, which made the night a bit more interesting. The next morning we went out to Sarnath, the site of Buddha's first sermon. It was more of the same old stuff, a couple of temples and a tree and the likes. To make things more interesting, a tut-tut driver we'd fucked over followed us out there and spent the morning waggling his finger at us a-la Babu from Seinfeld, calling us "Very bad men". Our overnight train to Agra left at 5.30 and arrived at 7.30am (it was due at 6am). Apart from the cold keeping me from sleeping it was good fun.

We only had one day in Agra, so it was jam packed. No time for a shower or a nap after the overnight train, we were straight out to the Red Fort. Quite a nice little set-up, except the place was packed with overweight, middle-aged (to geriatric) american tourists. After a time, I began taking photos of them rather than the fort. We could not stop laughing when we overheard that one of the tourist's daughters was called Buffy. After the Red Fort, we went to the Baby Taj. Less tourists here, but at this point I was in need of a nap, so I wasn't overly interested. Got back to the hotel after lunch with time for a half-hour sleep before going out again to the Taj Mahal. Getting to sleep then waking up suddenly made me feel worse than before and in the lead-up to leaving to see the Taj, was the closest I've been this trip to spewing. I had visions of throwing up all over the marble floor amongst a throng of horrified yanks. Luckily, I felt better once I got going and ended up enjoying the Taj Mahal despite the thousands of tourists. More than I can say for Nicole, an aussie in the group. She did puke all over the marble floor, and created quite a stir... I took more photos of it than were necessary and am now left with dying batteries.

Early next morning got the 6-hour 'deluxe bus' to Jaipur. Deluxe is a word unto itself in India, and whilst we were spared livestock, it was just a bus. Got through that fairly painlessly, and arrived in Jaipur around 2pm. We've arrived in Jaipur just as the Rajasthan Day festivities are beginning, so there are plenty of exhibitions and festivals to go and see. Of course, I chose to stay and write on my blog rather than do any of that stuff!! Last night, we went to see a camel race which was a bit of fun, especially when the camels veered off into the crowd. This morning we went out to the Amber Fort, which was more of the same. There were particularly impressive sections of it (rooms still with their original paintings and mirrors) but I'm starting to get a bit forted (and for that matter tombed and generally buildinged)-out. Tonight we are going to the local cinema to see a Bollywood blockbuster, which I'm looking forward to, before heading off again early tomorrow for Roopnagar (don't know bout that spelling) Fort, where we spend a night.

I've figured out what I'll be doing between the tour ending and my flight to London. Another girl from the tour, Suze- a Brit, is spending the next two months here, so I'm just tagging along with her for the first 6 or so days. It will mean that we don't return to Delhi with the rest of the tour, but get off at Pushkar and go from there to Udaipur, and then back up to Bundi, which is only 6 hours from Delhi. I booked my train ticket from Kota (near Bundi) to Delhi today, and am going second class with the common folk. Should be interesting, but I'm told that there shouldn't be any livestock on that one either. The plan is to sort out buses between the other places closer to the date.

I'm still going well - the sickest I've been was on the flight up here! But people are dropping off one by one here. There are only a few of us left that have avoided either throwing up or having a violent case of the runs. If I make it to the end I will expect a trophy- I didn't even survive Bali without getting the shits...

Good to see my message got through and so many of you replied to my last post. You guys can't afford to fuck with me cause I'm the administrator of the fantasy footy league, and you'll all be out on your arses! Maybe it was my poor attempt at humour in the last post that ruffled a few feathers - I retract my statements: Tom does not have genital warts, Sean is not gay and Jo does not want to sleep with me. Now you guys better reply...

Either way, I'm having fun, I hope you're all having fun and I'll post again soon....

Finally I'm back to civilisation, if you can call it that. Sorry to all those who smsed me while I was on the river but we had no reception. So in response to those messages - Tommy, don't worry too much about those genital warts, we all feel the urge to try it without a condom at some stage; Seany, I would still be your friend if you came out; and Jo, I will not sleep with you - Hana and I are in a loving relationship..

Here I am in a TINY internet cafe in Varanasi surrounded by about 15 locals (I don't know what the fuck they're doing in here).

First things first, the overnight train from Delhi to Mizapur was fairly uneventful. We were told that it was 'doorless compartments' which in actual fact meant beds along a central aisle. I was sleeping opposite 6 Indians. The plaque on the carriage said it had been built in August last year, but you would think it was 20 years old if you looked inside. But all in all like I said, uneventful.

We were warned before the trip that one thing to look out for on the river boats was bed sores, and they weren't wrong. We spent 2 and a half days just lying on a boat. At first it was really nice relaxing, the next day it was slightly uncomfortable, and by the third morning we were ready to kill anyone for a shower. Camping on the banks was really nice, and the boat boys would come around at 6.30 in the morning with 'bed chai' so including a dawn cruise past the ghats this morning, I have seen the sun rise three days in a row. That has to be some sort of record.. Had my first experience with a squat toilet (a hole in the sand) and fell in. Luckily I was the first attempt of the day.

We arrived in Varanasi yesterday afternoon and after three days on the river, Varanasi seemed completely insane. Right after we got off the boats and were riding to the hotel in rickshaws a couple of kids threw their orange peels at me as i rode past. So random. After two dawn starts and not enough water, I was feeling kinda ill last night, but it wasn't anything sinister and I slept it off. Like I said, this morning we went on a dawn cruise by the ghats (steps down to the river used for laundry, bathing and cremations) and I saw my first dead body.. It was just floating by about 20 metres away from a group of people bathing. I don't understand how India has the second largest population on the planet.. Shouldn't they have all died a long time ago from some horrible bacterial infection?!

But I'm OK. Haven't eaten anything dodgy yet and refrained from drinking from the Ganges (although the boat boys were doing it the whole trip) so I haven't been sick. I'm in Varanasi for another day before we get an overnight train again to Agra. I appreciate the token replies I got on the last post and wish to encourage further tokenism. I know people like Jen and Pies are reading this at work cause they have nothing better to do, so you guys have no excuse. Still haven't encountered a computer with a usb port so you'll have to wait for pictures (if you actually give a shit), but there are some good ones. The camera is working beautifully so thanks to all those who chipped in, especially Johnny, the mastermind of the operation. You will see the fruits of your hard work in good time.

Anyway, my 30Rs is running out. Have a good few days, I'll probably write again after I visit the Taj Mahal on Sunday.

Well, its only been 2 days, but what a two days!

After a relatively easy introduction to India in Mumbai, my next stop was Delhi. I had pre-booked a domestic flight on Air Deccan - one of India's budget airlines - so I wasn't too worried about getting up here. In the meantime, I made my first friend (a milestone) at Mumbai airport. 'Sam' from Goa, who has been working on a cruise ship for the last 4 years. He was cool, and recommended it as a good way to get paid to see the world. Now I have two reasons to go to Southampton! Anyway, I was expecting the flight to Delhi to arrive a bit before 6 so that I would still have some sunlight to search around for accommodation. Unfortunately, being a budget airline, it was inevitably delayed by more than an hour. I ended up arriving well after dark, and not wanting to brave wandering the streets of Delhi after dark, I went to the Tourist desk at the airport to try to pre-arrange something. I had my page from the lonely planet with accommodation in Pahar Ganj and some of the places sounded ok, but i wasn't able to get through to anyone on the phone. I ended up opting for a room recommeded by the tourist desk. I spent the last of my rupees on a pre-paid taxi (not a single one left) and went on my way to my random hotel. I got there and signed in before I'd seen the room (never a good idea), but when I got up, I knew I wouldn't sleep if I stayed there. To give you an idea, the room was about 10feetx10feet with no windows, a window pane out to the corridor with nothing but a couple of wooden slats covering it and I could hear everything that was happening in the neighbouring rooms. After spending some time deciding whether to risk ruffling feathers by leaving, I decided I couldn't stay, but I didn't have any rupees to jump straight into a tut tut. So I ended up walking up some random street in the dark with my pack on my back and my day pack slung over my front trying to find a money changer. A nice old man pointed me in the right direction (way back the direction I had come from) and I got $50 changed and jumped into the first tut tut that went by (a tight squeeze with a big-ass pack). I told him to take me to one of the hotels I had picked out of my lonely planet page, but he was obviously on the take from a number of hotels in the area because he'd stop at every street corner and offer me an alternative. We ended up getting to this hotel but, whilst quieter than the last one, wasn't what I was hoping for (at this point I decided that the problem was me and not the accommodation - I just wasn't ready to brave India's budget rooms on my own). I got back in the tut tut and asked to driver to take me across town to the tour's meeting hotel in Karol Bagh. After being told there weren't any singles, I decided to stop the fucking around and paid far too much for a double.

And that was my baptism of fire in Delhi.

Things quickly improved. My roommate for the tour (David, a Canadian) woke me up the next morning (yesterday morning) to store his bag in the room, and asked if i wanted to come along with him and two other guys on the tour (Peter and John, two middle-aged guys from Cairns) to do a bit of sightseeing. We spent the day doing fairly standard sort of shit - tombs and forts and ruins and the like - but at the very end John got pick-pocketed and lost his wallet with $150 cash and a credit card. Last night the entire group got together for the first time. Its a pretty good group - a good mix of ages and nationalities - oddly (or not) enough, I'm the youngest in the group. The only two Americans in the group are very un-American, so we've been blessed. Today we did some more fairly standard shit - mosques and temples and markets and the like - and I had my first encounter with leprousy. Horrible shit. Old Delhi is absolute fucking chaos - you couldn't even try to understand.

Anyway, in about 4 hours the adventure begins we get aboard an overnight train to the Ganges where we start our two day boat ride to Varanasi. I've taken some good photos (like the pot growing on the roof of the mosque) but haven't even attempted to upload any via these Indian computers. People may have to wait till I arrive in London before I can upload any of them, but we'll see how we go.

I could go on and on, but I've already made a short story long. Looking forward to relaxing a bit over the next couple of days. Next opportunity I'll get to write anything will be thursday night, but if shit-all happens on the river ride, I won't even bother.

I would appreciate responses to these posts. Otherwise I can still be contacted (sms only) on my mobile.

Here I am in sunny Mumbai!

The plane ride was good - Qantas only booked about 20% of the seats on the plane so I had an entire row to myself. It meant I could lay down across the seats, but I still only got about an hour...

My hotel is lovely (thanks to Hana) but it is out near the airport (about an hour and a half out of downtown Mumbai). I couldn't really face a 3 hour round-trip so I decided against heading into town. I had to buy myself a pair of long pants, so instead I decided on a trip to the Bandra markets (recommended to me by Lachie Daddo on the in-flight getaway spot). I got up this morning bright and early, ate my buffet breakfast (thanks again to Hana) and at 9am made my way out to get a taxi to the market. Unfortunately Lachie forgot to tell me that the markets don't open until 11. So my morning at the market ended up being my morning in a taxi. Luckily my taxi driver knew a couple of places so I ended up getting my pants (a little more expensive than I would have liked but not too bad).. I'm happy I got out of the hotel and checked some of the place out but most of it was seen through the window of a taxi..

I'm out to the airport again in about an hour and heading to Delhi where my tour begins tomorrow. It'll be good to be in a group, and have some other travellers to talk to.

Anyway, thing's are going well - the Indians are winning the cricket so everyone here's in a good mood - and I'll write again soon.

Well, it begins today... I'm currently waiting for my connection in Sydney, and have already experienced the highs and lows of travel. On the one hour flight up here, we had everyone fuck up their seating so that we all had to move one row forward, I ate the cereal for breakfast (on the plane) and am more than ever convinced that I am lactose intolerant. Good thing I brought the diorrhea tablets, but I didn't think I'd need them so soon after leaving!! And if anyone thinks thats disgusting, get used to it, because by all accounts the thing I will be talking about most over the next three weeks will be the movements of my bowel....

I feel like such a rookie... Everyone else on this Mumbai flight looks either Indian or a seasoned backpacker. I'm the only one in the departure lounge that even closely resembles a year 10 foreign exchange student. And that is no exaggeration - yesterday I got my hair cut 'high-school' short cause god knows I won't be able to afford no hair cut in England!! You'll see photos eventually, but for the time being just be happy with the image you've constructed in your own heads...

Anyway, it still hasn't really sunk in that I'm gone for the year. It feels like I'm gone for three weeks in India then coming home (actually THAT hasn't even sunk in yet, but I'm sure that will come as soon as I land). Thanks to those who turned out this morning, not much was said, but be assured that I felt the love.. The fact that you even came at all was a huge effort (for those who aren't aware, I flew out at 6.30, meaning that we were up around 4am).

My mobile now has roaming (but calls are blocked), so you can sms me anytime on my usual number. Just keep in mind the 4.5 hour time difference. For those who aren't mathematically inclined, that will mean that if its 10am here, its only 5.30am in India. I plan on having it on silent at night, but if I do happen to leave it on one night and I get an sms from one of you bozos at 4 in the morning, God help me I will eat your family..

Anyway, not much else I can really say - I'm only in Sydney for Christ's sake. Hope everyone has a nice day and expect a post from me when I next find a building with working electricity (and preferably made of concrete, Fortz). Oh, and Bharj if I hook up with your cousin, would that make us cousins-in-law?!