Finally I'm back to civilisation, if you can call it that. Sorry to all those who smsed me while I was on the river but we had no reception. So in response to those messages - Tommy, don't worry too much about those genital warts, we all feel the urge to try it without a condom at some stage; Seany, I would still be your friend if you came out; and Jo, I will not sleep with you - Hana and I are in a loving relationship..

Here I am in a TINY internet cafe in Varanasi surrounded by about 15 locals (I don't know what the fuck they're doing in here).

First things first, the overnight train from Delhi to Mizapur was fairly uneventful. We were told that it was 'doorless compartments' which in actual fact meant beds along a central aisle. I was sleeping opposite 6 Indians. The plaque on the carriage said it had been built in August last year, but you would think it was 20 years old if you looked inside. But all in all like I said, uneventful.

We were warned before the trip that one thing to look out for on the river boats was bed sores, and they weren't wrong. We spent 2 and a half days just lying on a boat. At first it was really nice relaxing, the next day it was slightly uncomfortable, and by the third morning we were ready to kill anyone for a shower. Camping on the banks was really nice, and the boat boys would come around at 6.30 in the morning with 'bed chai' so including a dawn cruise past the ghats this morning, I have seen the sun rise three days in a row. That has to be some sort of record.. Had my first experience with a squat toilet (a hole in the sand) and fell in. Luckily I was the first attempt of the day.

We arrived in Varanasi yesterday afternoon and after three days on the river, Varanasi seemed completely insane. Right after we got off the boats and were riding to the hotel in rickshaws a couple of kids threw their orange peels at me as i rode past. So random. After two dawn starts and not enough water, I was feeling kinda ill last night, but it wasn't anything sinister and I slept it off. Like I said, this morning we went on a dawn cruise by the ghats (steps down to the river used for laundry, bathing and cremations) and I saw my first dead body.. It was just floating by about 20 metres away from a group of people bathing. I don't understand how India has the second largest population on the planet.. Shouldn't they have all died a long time ago from some horrible bacterial infection?!

But I'm OK. Haven't eaten anything dodgy yet and refrained from drinking from the Ganges (although the boat boys were doing it the whole trip) so I haven't been sick. I'm in Varanasi for another day before we get an overnight train again to Agra. I appreciate the token replies I got on the last post and wish to encourage further tokenism. I know people like Jen and Pies are reading this at work cause they have nothing better to do, so you guys have no excuse. Still haven't encountered a computer with a usb port so you'll have to wait for pictures (if you actually give a shit), but there are some good ones. The camera is working beautifully so thanks to all those who chipped in, especially Johnny, the mastermind of the operation. You will see the fruits of your hard work in good time.

Anyway, my 30Rs is running out. Have a good few days, I'll probably write again after I visit the Taj Mahal on Sunday.